1) Where will you go: Don’t be afraid to relocate, you might have to move to another city or state.
I know it seems drastic but it can save your life.
2)Who should you tell: It is important not to tell anyone you are leaving that the abuser may be able to manipulate and obtain information from.
Especially your children, remember if he is their father they still love him.
3) When: It is best to leave when the abuser is not home. Don’t change your routine on that day be as normal as possible.
Don’t get caught up in being able to take all of your belongings, it’s ok to leave things behind. Necessities only.
4) Change your phone number: Once you leave, the abuser will attempt to contact you.
You aren’t strong enough to resist them just yet so avoiding them is the only option.
5) Get a restraining order and apply for legal custody of your children: You are not going to keep them away from their father forever but right now is not safe.
6) Finances: You have no money or might not even have a job, it’s ok you don’t need him.
There are shelters that will take you and your children in.
Most shelters also have resources to help you get a job or enroll in school. Let go of your pride.
7) Start your plan NOW and EXECUTE it: tomorrow may never come.
My mother made a phone call to a cousin out of state asking if we could move with her, she was really afraid “this time”.
We never made it. Maybe if she would have called a day earlier, she would’t have left 3 children at the age of 30!
8) Pray and ask God for peace,strength and guidance!